(Editor's Note: The Big Ten and Mountain West are back! But what does that mean for the teams that have been in the Bottom 10 all season?)
Inspirational Thought of the Week:
So I'm back in the game
Running things to keep my momentum going
Let all people know
That I'm back to run the show
Return the MAC … come on
Return of the MAC … oh my god
You know I'll be back … here I am
Return the MAC … one more time
Return of the MAC … pump up the world
Return of the MAC … watch my flow
You know I'll be back … here I am
– "Return of the Mack," Mark Morrison
Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, in an old, abandoned Sam Goody record store, we know that when Mark Morrison hit number 2 on the Billboard singles chart in the spring of 1996, he was singing "Return of the MACK". "But this is Fall 2020, and the Mack Truck, which comes into college football over six (!) Games on Wednesday night, is the MAC without the" K "… unless you count the big blue K of Kent state.
In case you don't have the Bottom 10 Media Guide on hand – and we know you don't because there is only one copy and that is currently used to prevent our desk wobble – MACtion is home to the defending Bottom 10 -Champions. Akronmonious as well as Central Michigan runner-up in 2018. At one point last fall, no less than half of the Bottom 10 were from the MAC. We remember this because we had an unlabeled box on the front of our office with the head of West Michigan mascot Buster Bronco and a note saying, "This is like the scene from & # 39; The Godfather & # 39;" have received.
Speaking of unnecessary explanations, we are excited about the return of the MAC because we can finally feel whole again. And by "whole" we actually mean a hole, as at least a few MAC teams will have dug for themselves in the hole by the end of the games on Wednesday evening.
With apologies to Connie Mack, Mack Brown and Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black and Steve Harvey, here is the bottom 10 of this week.
1. ULM (pronounced "uhlm") (0-7)
The Warhawks spent Halloween being chased by a crazy old miner named Josef, who lost to Appalachian State 31-13. UhLM has five games to go and according to the mystically accurate FPI machine, the average chance of winning one of these games is 11.4%. Also, FPI math is 99.6% likely to have these headaches I have now.
2. Southern Missed (1-5)
In the past four weeks, the Golden Eagles have postponed two games, lost two games and two different head coaches, so their 2020 head coach has a total of three. The second of those two losses came at home on Saturday when they were subdued 30-6 by Rice, the then runner-up Bottom 10 team who only played their second game of the season. Now the Golden Eagles receive North Alabama, a 0-2 FCS team, against which they are favored with 16.5 points. If they lose that, we will hold a meeting of the emergency selection committee to discuss the waiver of the last month of the season and go straight to a matchup between ULM and USM in the 2020 Bottom 10 U (insert middle initial here) M Megabowl .
3. unLv (0-2)
The Fightin & # 39; Tarks held their first home game at Allegiant Stadium Roomba and failed to cover the spread in a 37:19 loss to Nevada. The wolf pack was supposed to take home the Fremont Cannon Trophy, but since the spread wasn't covered, it is being held as a ransom by a man named Joey Knuckles across the street from Allegiant Stadium, threatening that the cannon will carry the fish will sleep. .. at the Mandalay Bay Shark Reef Aquarium.
4. Kansas Nayhawks (0-6)
Speaking of Wiseguys, they were all smart about riding the Lawrence boys this season. Rock Chalk was literally chalk as the 0-6 Jayhawks were also 0-6 trying to cover a single spread, including the last five out of 17 points or more. This week they are 37.5 point underdogs in Oklahoma. The only major spread is that on the bed of 6-foot-7,369-pound Sooner O-lineman Darrell Simpson.
5. The "L" Club supports you (1-1)
"YOUR ATTENTION, BUYERS. WE HAVE A CORN AND BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL FOR KHAKIS OVER AISLE FOUR.
Joe Milton and Michigan were upset with the state of Michigan on Saturday. Nic Antaya / Getty Images
6. Texas State Armadillos (1-7)
We removed Texas State from that list last week, but the Bobcats came back on the radar when they joined ULM as the nation's only seven-loss teams. Plus, several members of their fan base have reached out to us on Twitter asking to return to these rankings as if they were Linus after Sally removed his blanket.
I have a friend who teaches in Texas State. On their behalf, I demand (demand!) To know what the Bobcats did to get kicked out of Bottom 10. The waiting list is not what they deserve.
– Innocent🕷Abroad (@JJGass) October 29, 2020
I Agree! A few Big Ten teams lose a game and suddenly earn a place in # Bottom10? Texas State earned our ranking by playing five street games in a row, including games against South Alabama and Even More South Alabama.
– Charlie Baker (@ Charlie_Baker04) October 29, 2020
7. US (not C) F (1-5)
The South Florida Bulls got a head start on Open Date U's Fightin 'Byes in the fourth quarter and are now heading to Memphis, where sources tell the Bottom 10 JortsCenter that the USF team bus should stop on Beale Street for that Team can sing the blues over its 1-5 season.
8. FI (not A) U (0-3-4)
Yes, 0-3-4. That's 0 wins, 3 losses and 4 postponements, including a postponement that turned into a loss. So, maybe it is actually 0-3-3 or 0-3½ -3½. Whatever it is, it starts with a zero.
9. Van-duh-Bilt (0-4)
The winless Commode Doors travel south to Starkville, Mississippi to face Need More Cowbell University's most unexpected pillow fight of the week. The pillow fight has always meant more to us. But since this is the first time the P.F.O.W. has a couple of SEC schools involved, this is the first time officially that It Just Means More® is capitalized with a little trademark next to it.
10. Sir, accused (1-6)
Like the last oversupplied patron who was at Shifty's bar, the Oranges have flirted with this list all season to no avail. But at this late hour they have become the last best option.
Waiting list: UMess (0-1), Needs More Cowbell (1-4), EC-Yew (1-4), Tempered Owls (1-3), Bail-or (1-3), The Little 4 of the Big 10 ( all 0-2), Minute Rice (1-1), Charlotte 2-and-3 & # 39; ers, Duke Bedevileds (2-5), Ill-ugh-Noise (0-2), You-tah State (0 -2)), too early whistle, COVID-19.